This is a strange story for me to write. It will at times be a sad story, in many ways it will be happy and perhaps even funny. It will be an adventure that entails anxiety, flirting with danger, fortitude in the face of adversity and many attempts to look on the bright side. There will also no doubt be moments of anguish and despair, and a lot of uncertainty. It's a story that will hopefully be cathartic for me, but also interesting and perhaps informative or even entertaining for others.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

A lot can happen in a year.

It has been one year today since I received my lymphoma diagnosis. I have to admit I've felt a little shaken all day. It's a mixed feeling to be moving away from my diagnosis and treatment. Obviously I am so happy to be moving away from it, but that doesn't mean the experience is really being put behind me.

During my treatment I had obvious physical pain and understandable emotional pain. Now that it's over, I've got to go back to living my life, even though I still feel so much of that pain. I'm still so tired and really just feel drained. I don't want to stop and think about my emotions, because when I do my memories of the battle and the fear of it coming back are too intense. All I want to do is forget, but I know I never will.

Having said that, when I remember where I was a year ago and the intense fear I felt then, I know I have come a long way. Although 2010 has been an awful year, I'm a different person because of it.

From this experience I know that there are a lot of really great people in this world. People that I couldn't have gotten through this year without. This encompasses my closest family and friends, total strangers, acquaintances, and some wonderful new friends I made through my illness. These wonderful people are there to support, encourage and love.

I really cannot thank people more for what they have done for me this year. Whether it was emotional support, friendship, coming with me to appointments, cooking us dinner, doing my yard duty, contributing to cancer fundraising, leaving me a heartwarming comment on this blog, or even just asking me how I was, I really could not have got through this journey without you. You helped to save my life.


Anonymous said...

You are so brave and so precious to me. You bring tears to my eyes and a lump in my throat. I am extremely relieved that you are in remission, I too think of this time last year and the sadness we all felt then , but we have all been there for you and Daniel who has been amazing through all of it. I am so proud of you both. Love Mum (Lindy) xxx

Ms White said...

Dear Rianne,

You are an inspiration. Your strength and dignity have truly humbled me.

Thank you for your generosity and warmth in sharing your journey and life with us all.

You are someone I admire for your good character and resilience.

Thank you for teaching us all.

Love Pennie

Robin said...

Thank you for this blog. I was just diagnosed with the same cancer, and it's great to see the honesty from a survivor.

I just started my own blog about my journey.