Hannibal Lecter

It’s been a month since my last post. This does not mean that things have been uneventful, just that I’ve been busy and blogging has not been a priority! Sorry to everyone that has been waiting for a post. I will now update you on what has been happening. I’ll go back a month to the beginning of the radiation (a lot has been happening so this may take more than one post!). My radiation journey began on the 10th of May with a preparation session. I lay there while they lined me up with lasers from the roof and walls, drew all over my chest and neck, scanned me, then gave me three little tattoos (great for someone with a huge needle phobia!!). These tattoos are so that they can line me up with the lasers to ensure I’m in the exact same position each time. I had read about people needing to wear a mask for their radiation to keep them still and in the same places, so although the tattoos were bad at least I wasn’t needing the mask. Three days later the hospital called and it turned out my relief about not wearing the mask was short-lived. They had decided it was best that I did have one. Now I had to have the mask made and do all the scans etc for the preparation again. So not only would I have to wear the mask each session, I now had 3 tattoos for no reason! Having the mask made was pretty awful. I lay on the bed (which feels like a slab of concrete) and they taped cotton pads over my eyes to protect them then gave me a bell that I could ring if wasn’t coping. They then lowered a large piece of soft mesh over my head, neck and shoulders, pulled it tightly and clipped it into the sides of the bed. They then contoured it to my face and neck and let it dry and harden. To speed up the drying process they used ice packs. I’m not a claustrophobic person, but having this so tightly over my face with my eyes covered for 15-20 minutes was very uncomfortable. I had to continually remind myself that although it was difficult to breath, I still could breathe. The mask was so tight that it left indentations all over my face, squashed my lips into my teeth and hurt the end of my nose. But at least I couldn’t move and that is the intention! After the mask dried, they spent about 5 minutes lining me up with lasers again. This was also strange as I couldn’t see because of the cotton over my eyes, but they were moving the bed up and down, and back and forth. It made me feel quite dizzy and totally mucked up my spatial perception. I couldn’t tell at all how much I was moving. They stuck tape all over the mask and marked the radiation reference points. I then had another CT scan with the mask, which the radiation oncologist would use to map my radiation area. I left feeling quite nervous about the radiation. It was going to be four weeks of lying topless on a slab of concrete while they suffocated me with a mask that made me look like Hannibal Lecter. But at least it doesn’t involve a needle!